My grandmother, June, was an amazing women that I respect and love so dearly. She passed away just shortly ago and although her passing was a gift to her and her last tiring years, it was still painful and sad to see her physically leave us. Due to my own mother's passing I've learned how fragile life really is as well as the importance of the here and now, not tomorrow. As a result of this, I tried really hard to include my grandmother June in our life the last few years of hers. Even though it was at times difficult to find time to visit or have her over to our house, I can't express enough how much I wish I would have found even more time and am so grateful that I did find the time I did to spend with such a gem of wisdom and love.
When Grandma's health was well enough we would have her over for weekly dinner. One of these occassions fell upon Brigden's birthday. I called her only a few hours before to inform her that we would be casually celebrating his birthday while she was here, but she was under no obligation to get him a present or anything, just merely come and be with us. Well, in traditional Grandma June style she showed up with a wrapped present. The typical style of hers was not that she had a present, but the actual present. Brigden excitedly opened the present to find a ziploc bag of random treats and goodies that Grandma had accumulated from her pantry including: large colored marshmallows, crackers, chocolate bars, and pretzels. The best part about it was that they were all bunched together in this ziploc and presented in such a Grandma June style, i.e. cookies in a bucket. I wondered what Brigden would think as he saw the ziploc bag of random worn goodies, but he was so ecstatic and delighted and I was relieved for his graciousness. She was so thoughtful and always trying to make sure others were happy and felt loved by her.
Grandma June had such a love for people and the gospel. I loved my many conversations with her these last few years. She had such wisdom, peace, and such a grounded testimony of Christ. There is almost nothing better than to talk with someone who just "gets it" and doesn't fuss with the rest of life's unnecessary fluff.
When I was a little girl we would visit Grandma weekly and each trip we would take I would pass a curio containing a pair of blue porcelain ballet slippers. I'm not quite sure why she had them, but I do know that I loved looking at them. I looked at them for years and as I grew with each visit I wished more and more that they were mine. Well, one day, she somehow found out about my wishes. I don't know if I just plain asked for them, which wouldn't surprise myself and many others, or if my mother told her, but as soon as Grandma found out, she took them out and gave them to me. I've cherished them ever since and to this day am so impressed at her kindness and charity.
As a child, I didn't quite understand what a peaceful person she was because to me she was just quiet, but now as I've grown and become a mother and a spouse, I'm amazed at her peaceful demeanor and patient personality. What an example to her family and I. I love this woman and am so greatful to have known her.
One of my favorite memories of her was when she was saying goodbye to one of my siblings a day or so before she passed and she said, "Don't worry, I'll tell your mother hello for all of you!"
Which brings me to my mother......It's so hard to find the words. Today is the 3rd year anniversary of her passing. It's been an interesting journey, a difficult one, but a very growing one. I miss her dearly! I miss her wisdom, her friendship, her undying love, her knowledge, and her testimony!
I miss just talking to her. I miss having someone to lean on. I don't know that I've ever felt more alone then during these last 3 years because of her absence and my trials. When she passed, I knew it would be difficult to spend the rest of my earthly life without her, but I could never have known to what extent. I didn't realize how much I would miss her strength, especially when I am weak, which is extremely more often then people believe or realize. I miss her love and zest for life, even though she was most quoted saying, "Life sucks and then you die." She knew how to bring humor to difficult situations and laugh things off.
I miss her. I miss her. I miss her.
Mom with Halen(2) in 2004.
I love her. I love her. I love her.